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This has been a good day.

 It has been another month, and we are well into phase 2. And this is a good time to communicate. It’s a good time to communicate because it’s been a good day. Since my last post, I had a fair number of bad days. I have been struck more than before by fatigue and poor resilience. I simply don’t snap back the way I used to. It doesn’t help that the weather here has been uncommonly, hot and humid. I have always found that being out in the sapped me somewhat, but right now being out in the sun for more than a few minutes drains me beyond all expectation. For a long time, we would say that Karen with her concerns needed to come in after an hour in the sun, and then I could continue for another hour and a half. That’s not true anymore. At least as hot as it is, I need to come in at an hour, if not sooner. I’ve also lost weight. I’ve lost about 20 pounds since I started my regime. Between the weight loss and the exhaustion, last week I had about high-low point. I called to talk to my...
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A Disciplined Life

  So, here I am, a month into phase 2. It has been, well, interesting. I’m actually a little more than a month into phase 2. I started my new medication’s on my birthday, and now we’re a bit more than a month past that. Medications are having the desired effect. My PSA is now back where it was before we started this journey. That is to say, it is so low as to be negligible. Almost as important, my side effects have been modest, at least so far. If I’m in a situation where before I might have broken out a sweat, now I certainly do. It doesn’t help that even up here on the plateau the summer has been hot and humid. In addition, I tire easily. I can walk, even hike, like I did before we started these meds. I can go out into the garden and water and deal with weeds and cover basic things, as long as I get it done before it’s too hot. It’s just that, having done that, it takes me longer to recover. I am resting more. I am learning to rest more intentionally, having learned th...
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New Adjustments

    It has been a while again. Now, where was I? I am about 11 days into phase 2. Phase 2 started on my birthday, and it started off feeling like good news. For all that I was frustrated with my insurer over some things they hadn’t paid for, my co-pays on some very expensive drugs are surprisingly manageable. So, I got an injection to last me for 90 days and a bottle of pills, also to last me for 90 days, and the journey began. For the next almost a week, I would wake up every morning, and when Karen said to me, “How are you?“, my response would be, “Nol weirdness so far.“ There was a certain innocence in that. These are important medicines with systemic effects, and those effects take weeks to really take hold. If there had been sudden effects, that probably would’ve been bad. But the fact that there were no sudden bad effects didn’t mean they weren’t going to be any discomfort, any awareness that this was a difficult adjustment. So about a week in, I suddenly started f...
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Phase Two Begins

  I realize it has been a while since I have shared anything about my journey. Let me take a few minutes to catch up. I like this to a kitchen renovation. Phase one was dealing with the blocked ureter. Honestly, that seems to be going very well. i’ll have another ultrasound sometime before the end of the summer, but unless other symptoms come up, we will consider that matter addressed. I’m grateful at how well that went. Now, we get on. Phase 2 is not exactly like new construction. Rather, it’s about learning to live with some of the things that came from the construction.  Maybe, it’s like going from a gas stove to an induction stove. There are new tools that weren’t enough previously. There are new dishes, because the old ones weren’t meeting the need. I had a specialized PET scan. When you get a PET scan, it’s kind of like a CT scan with a particular kind of radiotracer. They injected me with the tracer, and I waited for about an hour, and once it had time to go ...
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Looking at Phase 2

  I realize that I have not communicated in a while about my health and about my concerns. I have been telling people that I feel kind of like a kitchen renovation. Things are going well with phase one, and once phase one is done, we can go onto phase 2. And perhaps, when phase 2 is done we can get onto phase 3. Phase one is the blockage of my ureter. I seem to have recovered well from that surgery. I still have some places where the surgical glue is still there, and occasionally the dog or one of the cats put the paw someplace that isn’t perfectly comfortable, but I feel a lot closer to normal. Let me correct that: I feel a lot closer to something like normal. I have to admit that I’m not sure what normal is. At any rate, on Monday I see my urologist for the critical follow up for the blockage. We are also going to be talking about next steps. As I said, there is phase 2. My PSA has continued to rise. A month ago I joked that, while United Healthcare had denied my speci...
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Getting On With It

 I am learning – relearning – what it means simply to get on with it.  A week ago today I had my procedure. I keep saying that: I should be saying clearly that a week ago today. I had my surgery. The good news is that I seem to be coming along nicely. The small wounds across my body from the robotic scope are still a little tender to the touch, but they don’t bother me moment by moment. The same is true of the hole in the back where I used to have the drain from my kidney. I’m doing a little more each day, and I have had my first shower. That was lovely. It was also a little frightening. Something about showering always catches my more painful knee and I have to work around that. While I have been told I can shower, I have been cautioned against the tub bath or a hot tub or anything that would keep all of these little wounds submerged. So, I find myself stopping to wonder just how wet is too wet. That’s what things are like at this point: I’m now safe enough and comforta...
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What We’re Waiting For

“  O God of unchangeable power and eternal light: Look favorably on your whole Church, that wonderful and sacred mystery; by the effectual working of your providence, carry out in tranquillity the plan of salvation; let the whole world see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection by him through whom all things were made, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.” I am on record stating that this prayer is the single most important prayer in the Episcopal Church. It’s not about the most prominent day. Rather, it comes up on important days pointing forward. It is the last solemn collect in the liturgy for Good Friday. It is the last collect in the Great Vigil of Easter. Finally, it is the prayer for every ordination. Now, not everyone would agree with me, I suppose, b...
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