Looking at Phase 2

  I realize that I have not communicated in a while about my health and about my concerns.

I have been telling people that I feel kind of like a kitchen renovation. Things are going well with phase one, and once phase one is done, we can go onto phase 2. And perhaps, when phase 2 is done we can get onto phase 3.

Phase one is the blockage of my ureter. I seem to have recovered well from that surgery. I still have some places where the surgical glue is still there, and occasionally the dog or one of the cats put the paw someplace that isn’t perfectly comfortable, but I feel a lot closer to normal. Let me correct that: I feel a lot closer to something like normal. I have to admit that I’m not sure what normal is. At any rate, on Monday I see my urologist for the critical follow up for the blockage.

We are also going to be talking about next steps. As I said, there is phase 2. My PSA has continued to rise. A month ago I joked that, while United Healthcare had denied my special PET scan because my PSA wasn’t high enough, all I was gonna have to do was wait. Sure enough, it looks like soon – all too soon – I will qualify. There are prostate cells in there, prostate cells that were already in the wrong place before my prostate itself was removed, and then unfortunately they’re not healthy prostate cells.

Most of you know that I’m an optimistic, sort, anyway; and when I look at the statistical results of the various treatments for recurrent prostate cancer, I look at positive numbers and high percentages for the 10 year survival rate. In light of everything else, the thought of 10 years is pretty positive. My father was and my mother is in her 90s, and I have come to the conclusion that that’s not a realistic expectation for me. Don’t get me wrong: I would be delighted to be wrong about that. However, in the midst of it, before we have begun to actually address the recurrent cancer, thinking about another 10 years, actually feels pretty positive. And, yes, I do know how statistics work. I do know that there are folks in those lower percentages, and I don’t get to know ahead of time what percentage I fall into. But, as I said, I tend to be a pretty optimistic guy.

Which is not to say it’s easy. These days just the general atmosphere of healthcare in American culture feels badly unsettled. I trust research. I trust medical science. And there has to be a worry that when there is leadership around that doesn’t, that seems more intent on disrupting a working system than in adding new knowledge, that medical science may become harder access. Is that likely? I don’t know. And if it happens, what will we do? I’m not sure I know that, either.

So right now I enjoy that I feel stronger. I enjoy that the lettuce and the turnips in the carrots are planted. I enjoy that the dog is lots of fun and also reasonably obedient. I enjoy that I’ve got a wife who loves me very much and then I’ve got family who care about me and then I’ve got lots of friends who pray for me. Day by day, I will get first to the appointment on Monday; and from that appointment, then we will start on phase 2.